🤣 best compliment, thank you https://t.co/ar4RtRoYK6
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@Ocasio2018) August 31, 2018
Perfect day for open house @WillistonNS #JohnHazenWhiteHouse pic.twitter.com/ONT4Ly3Fb6
— RWHill (@Hill3Williston) August 30, 2018
Apple Event Sept 12, as predicted. Round iPhone confirmed. pic.twitter.com/0gmglmdk95
— Matthew Panzarino (@panzer) August 30, 2018
great video of me logging onto Twitter to share my thoughts https://t.co/I3uoM6RTH5
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) August 30, 2018
Nineteen freshman in my class; none have seen “The Princess Bride.”
— Dan Cassino (@DanCassino) August 28, 2018
Putting myself out onto an ice floe to die with the other ancients, see you all later.
But then how are they Fudge Stripes!? We need a Keebler philosopher.
— John Siracusa (@siracusa) August 30, 2018
All this time Spider “Man” was a hijab wearing Sister. pic.twitter.com/zXFg2ZXvj3
— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) August 28, 2018
Love the @WillistonNS shout out at Yankee Stadium #GoSox #FenwayForever pic.twitter.com/K0SFf4Fi46
— RWHill (@Hill3Williston) August 29, 2018
Two years ago, I was saying “do you have any questions?”. Last year I switched to “what questions do you have?” It made a difference. Today I tried “ask me two questions”. And they did! And those ?s led to more ?s. It amazes me that the littlest things have such a big impact!
— Andre Sasser (@MrsSasser) August 27, 2018
Button-Up Shirt Goes On Life-Changing Odyssey Around Dry Cleaner’s Garment Conveyor https://t.co/LTUa6NKVfh pic.twitter.com/G0qq291On3
— The Onion (@TheOnion) August 28, 2018
Your rap name is your most used password and the last 4 digits of your social.
— Audrey Wauchope (@audreyalison) August 27, 2018
Me: Hey, what do you think you’ll study in college?
— Cassie Dull (@cassdull) August 28, 2018
6yo: I don’t know. I’ll tell you when I get back from college.
Sweeping the millennial trend aside, it appears this generation has no intention of including their parents on life decisions.
THESE WORDS MOVE ME AS MUCH AS ANY I HAVE EVER READ https://t.co/iMLsAPzvnG
— Norman Lear (@TheNormanLear) August 27, 2018
"All your friends are false; all your enemies are real."
— ℛ (@Extrachelle) August 26, 2018
Mexican proverb
Raise your hand if you play video games and you are not a violent person. 🤚
— Analynn 🇺🇸 (@bawlynn) August 26, 2018
VIDEO GAMES DO NOT CAUSE VIOLENCE.
Enough of this bullshit.
Just gave my name in Starbucks as 'Severus is an illegitimate patriarch'. As the (Chalcedonian) barista repeatedly shouted out my 'name' the entire cafe screamed 'restore Flavian to the patriarchal see of Antioch'. Result. Try it.
— Adele (@sportive_tricks) August 26, 2018
It’s Katherine Johnson’s 100th birthday today. I just want us all to take a moment and really consider how amazing her story really is. pic.twitter.com/4aUVzLiK36
— Philip Lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) August 26, 2018
Teach For America Chews Up, Spits Out Another Ethnic-Studies Major https://t.co/xtpUNrcEtF pic.twitter.com/sfWSipQvFJ
— The Onion (@TheOnion) August 27, 2018
I've resisted aggressively blocking, because it seemed like having thin skin or hiding from criticism, muting lets people scream into void, etc. I recently started blocking far more. I was wrong; it's glorious, has dramatically improved Twitter experience & I highly recommend.
— Susan Hennessey (@Susan_Hennessey) August 26, 2018
Every single picture of Sen McCain with military personnel is in a faraway place where there was danger. He never used troops as backdrops in ceremonies. He came to us...to see and feel and experience our world. Because that’s what real leaders do. And all are honoring him for it https://t.co/4AGnGSsqcR
— Mark Hertling (@MarkHertling) August 26, 2018
My message to the parents of UBC’s new students:
— Santa J. Ono (@ubcprez) August 27, 2018
As your kids transition from high school to university, it’s time to let them navigate challenges on their own. They may stumble, but in doing so they grow. If you continue to solve their problems for them, you stunt their growth.
Does anyone else sleep with shoes on
— Jack Griffith (@jgriff2210) August 26, 2018
Overheard at British Museum -
— 🐦 (@Pidgers28) August 26, 2018
Young boy to Dad - ‘when you die, can I use your skull to strike fear into the hearts of my enemies?’
Dad - ‘...no.’
It is your character, and your character alone, that will make your life happy or unhappy. That is all that really passes for destiny. And you choose it. No one else can give it to you or deny it to you. No rival can steal it from you. And no friend can give it to you.John McCain
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 27, 2018
Instagram: https://t.co/nISbPakAdm pic.twitter.com/xbnE04SRKS
— Michiko Kakutani (@michikokakutani) August 23, 2018
The whole thread is great. https://t.co/M2E2GdvFaI
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 22, 2018
Huey, Louie, and Dewey. I could do this all day. pic.twitter.com/Iw9RCCkmSh
— heatherchurch (@heatherchurch) August 21, 2018
Me as a seven year old: I CANT BELIEVE THE PEOPLE OF KRYPTON WOULD DENY THE PLANET IS EXPLODING. THAT'S STUPID.
— JD Faith (@JDFaithcomics) August 21, 2018
Me now, reading the comment section of a climate change article: oh
5 GUYS EMPLOYEE: what would u like?
— Max Dylan Ash (@mynameisntdave) August 21, 2018
ME: one “little fries” please
5GE: so u want “a whole bag of fries?”
ME: no, just a “little-“
5GE: I definitely heard “more fries than u could ever handle”
ME: please, no—
5GE: JERRY, FOIST UPON THIS MAN “A FUCKASS LOAD AMOUNT OF FRIES”
I hope Emily Bazelon picks Georgia this week for her cocktail chatter on #politicalgabfest https://t.co/XzMPhes43T
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 22, 2018
Na na na na, hey hey, goodbye
— David Griffith (@griffithd50) August 22, 2018
Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye
‘I can think of nothing more American.’ — Beto O'Rourke — the man taking on Ted Cruz — brilliantly explains why NFL players kneeling during the anthem is not disrespectful pic.twitter.com/bEqOAYpxEL
— NowThis (@nowthisnews) August 21, 2018
if your parents pay your rent, you have to put it in your twitter bio
— jared richards (@jrdjms) August 20, 2018
Tim Berners-Lee and I had a paper rejected because reviewer said we didn’t really understand how the web worked. #ShareYourRejection
— jahendler (@jahendler) August 19, 2018
I really hope the Tesla board doesn’t force out Elon Musk because that it 100% how we get a Green Goblin scenario
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) August 20, 2018
"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." -- Isaac Newton
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 20, 2018
I’m officially a librarian!!!
— Leslie Kuo (@leslie_kuo) August 17, 2018
You’re 25 years old.
— Kimberly Yam (@kimmythepooh) August 18, 2018
You see a movie with an all-asian cast at a screening and for some reason you’re crying and you can’t stop. You’ve never seen a cast like this in Hollywood. Everyone is beautiful.
You’re so happy you’re Chinese. #CrazyRichAsians #RepresentationMatters
The greatest scourge in higher education today completely overlooked by public policy establishment is the alarming rise in college campuses of Quidditch teams.
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) August 17, 2018
YES!!!!!!!! https://t.co/LVqJzsZPu4
— Tanya Weiman 🧀 (@tanyaweiman) August 17, 2018
Drag is the opposite of violence.
— Julian Fleisher (@JulianFlei) August 17, 2018
What I want in my timeline is:
— Kate Cox (@KCoxDC) August 15, 2018
1. Tweets from the accounts I follow
2. In the order in which they were tweeted.
That's it. Nothing else. Ever.https://t.co/tlmXuGsdy0
BEFORE HAVING KIDS: "I am NEVER making separate meals for my children"
— Bret Turner (@bretjturner) August 15, 2018
4 YEARS LATER: "Let me repeat your order: tri-color pasta (al dente) with butter & cheese on a bed of string cheese on a fairy plate, cup of water with star-shaped ice cubes, yogurt two ways, Cheez-Its."
Aretha should lie In State.
— Julian Fleisher (@JulianFlei) August 16, 2018
Preseason action for Varsity Football. Time to step up and #playthegame!@JSECathletics @WheelerWarriors @RIIL_sports pic.twitter.com/cXeIbU50dX
— PCD Athletics (@PCDAthletics) August 16, 2018
Too many spectacular things going on in this photo for a tweet. https://t.co/WXmnsxqseS
— Tim Gavrich (@TimGavrich) August 16, 2018
It's weird that ppl interpret the moral of The Pied Piper story as "Don't trust strangers" when really it's "Always pay freelancers"
— Meagan (@meagantrott) August 12, 2018
The chances that this will be terrible are extremely high. https://t.co/yIBileuorj
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) August 15, 2018
Are you watching Point Break or The Fast and the Furious? pic.twitter.com/T8GDjKxV6H
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) August 13, 2018
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) August 15, 2018
This is so true. https://t.co/FMesvL8zk6
— Nancy Pearl (@Nancy_Pearl) August 15, 2018
Somebody waited their whole life to write this serial number pic.twitter.com/WxnKJwVbHw
— Wendigo PB Fox (@tmaxxnc) August 14, 2018
I’m pretty sure no podcast ad campaign will ever rival @CAH (Cards Against Humanity) sending John @siracusa toaster ovens to review on @atpfm. Fully justified my choice to listen to the back catalog of a topical weekly show.
— Chris Lane (@chrisofthelane) August 15, 2018
The three ages of bureaucrat:
— Sarah Jardine (@Jardisliketardi) August 13, 2018
Age 25: Why don’t I get to go to any meetings?
Age 35: I feel so validated by attending all these important meetings
Age 42: I will do anything legal to avoid godforsaken meetings
Well, you just hit the nail on the head, @MrTomRad!! This is EXACTLY what I know from my experience as a teacher. I love my job. What an honor to be a part of this profession. The rewards are so rich. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/3t1xTEGAxs
— Canita Lee (@HashtagMsLee) August 14, 2018
Donate it to charity. https://t.co/sPVD7fzqgi
— Ashraf Eassa (@Ashraf__Eassa) August 15, 2018
Very proud of myself. I put "Listen to The Clash, 8 to 9 AM" on my office schedule and I got _right_ on that one.
— Andy Ihnatko (@Ihnatko) August 15, 2018
Student I ran into: “Oh, hi! I’m taking your class this term. I’d love to see the syllabus.”
— Ted McCormick (@mccormick_ted) August 14, 2018
You and me both, friend.
Measuring with a "broken ruler" helps overcome a common measuring misconception https://t.co/QiI1PtFNa8 pic.twitter.com/yWDYS3rpEi
— Donna Boucher (@MathCoachCorner) August 14, 2018
When client feedback starts with ‘this is a great start!’, you know that it was in fact, not a great start.
— Dull Designer (@rebellenoire) August 13, 2018
Shout out to all the teachers headed back to school this week.
— Clint Smith (@ClintSmithIII) August 14, 2018
You are appreciated.
Find out how to recruit the best trustees to guide your school. Providence Country Day School's Vince Watchorn explains different types of board structures & examines proven methods to build a strong, diverse pipeline for future trustees. https://t.co/lzUkil0ffg pic.twitter.com/VFo3tjeIJk
— NAIS (@NAISnetwork) August 13, 2018
RE everything today: we know who @POTUS is. Perhaps the dialogue could be redirected to the #GenoaBridgeCollapse & the reality that much of our infrastructure is as old or older & deferred maintenance is a real thing? A grand 21st century economic plan is just sitting there.
— Charlie Griffith (@cegriff3) August 14, 2018
Instead of making “rules” for the @parktudor LS WonderLab, I decided to create a list of phrases students will be encouraged to use as they create/build/imagine. What would you add? #makered #isedchat pic.twitter.com/JYA2cSDYEX
— Jamey Everett (@jeverettPT) August 13, 2018
W-what if Apple's autonomous car project is having trouble because they're trying to run it on a mid-range Radeon from 2011, unaware that any newer GPU exists
— Steven Frank (@stevenf) August 13, 2018
Arguing on Twitter. pic.twitter.com/SPgqQ2hgMY
— Paul Bronks (@BoringEnormous) August 11, 2018
These are Keith Richards daughters. When they pass away he will inherit everything. 😜 pic.twitter.com/vpNSxa7N3j
— Allen Marshall (@AllenCMarshall) August 12, 2018
Looks more like Mordor than Seattle, actually pic.twitter.com/SqlADqlxky
— Nancy Pearl (@Nancy_Pearl) August 12, 2018
rt if you still take pinky promises seriously
— Ally (@hattonally) August 9, 2018
My 13 y.o. son told me that when he hits 99 pounds, he wants to eat one pound of nachos on his own so he can be 1% nacho.
— David Juurlink (@DavidJuurlink) August 12, 2018
Speak for yourself. https://t.co/PI4iRXFL0d
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 12, 2018
I don't normally post political tweets but this is very important. pic.twitter.com/8030Ja8j6U
— Paul Bronks (@BoringEnormous) August 11, 2018
My new Honda Accord plays the opening chords for "The Rose" every time I open the door, and now I think Bette Midler lives in its operating system. #FirstWorldProblems
— Rod Dreher (@roddreher) August 12, 2018
Can we somehow still blame IE6 for this? I miss blaming everything on IE6
— Buck (@HoraceHuck) August 11, 2018
Basically. https://t.co/WXZ7RsJgtD
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 11, 2018
The New York Times took a deep look at The Gathering Place in Tulsa and did a beautiful job capturing its aspirations and complexity.https://t.co/8daHgEFfBI
— Ken Levit (@kenlevit) August 10, 2018
There are a lot of journalists who refuse to call out Donald Trump as a racist. Soledad O'Brien is not one of them.
— The Root (@TheRoot) August 11, 2018
She is on a mission to make sure we are all truth-tellers. pic.twitter.com/pQPqUNUFXG
I was recently invited to speak at Westminster where I am an Alumnus. Given our work they asked me to talk about Poverty, Privilege, and Race. The following are my prepared... https://t.co/51si4J3sH0
— David Griffith (@griffithd50) August 10, 2018
When your spouse notices you're about to respond to a provocation on social media. pic.twitter.com/slfDTGF2Yk
— Joe Carter (@joecarter) August 10, 2018
Big challenge of writing history for kids: nothing can be taken for granted. Writing IS D-Day now. I assume no prior knowledge. WW2? Nazis? Allies? All must be explained and connected to them. It's guiding them on a journey, winning their trust, making sure they never feel lost.
— Lauren Tarshis (@laurenTarshis) August 9, 2018
I wanna tweet out a DNS joke but it might take y’all 24 hours to get it.
— Safia Abdalla (@captainsafia) August 9, 2018
Workplace Wellness Programs Don’t Work Well. Why Some Studies Show Otherwise. https://t.co/fR552PgB28
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 9, 2018
The iMac Pro satisfies my pro needs, but I'll justify it somehow anyway. https://t.co/LAMes9sihI
— Marco Arment (@marcoarment) August 8, 2018
Why did the mansplainer drown in the puddle? It was a well, actually.
— Patricia Zengerle (@ReutersZengerle) August 7, 2018
My Wednesday column: Oh, the Humanities!:https://t.co/VujEPHMg32
— Ross Douthat (@DouthatNYT) August 8, 2018
Wins in the short-term are important milemarkers and necessary to building power.
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@Ocasio2018) August 8, 2018
But you can’t be afraid of loss. Fear keeps people from accomplishing great things.
Last week, @AbdulElSayed gave me a card with this quote by Teddy Roosevelt.
Here’s to the heroes in The Arena. pic.twitter.com/5xDGowszD5
ROFL, I correctly guessed the Intel event WiFi password.
— Ashraf Eassa (@Ashraf__Eassa) August 8, 2018
Thou shalt not do as the dean pleases,
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 8, 2018
Thou shalt not write thy doctor's thesis
On education,
Thou shalt not worship projects nor
Shalt thou or thine bow down before
Administration.
from Under Which Lyre by WH Audenhttps://t.co/wimrbyNNyi
Front of Ford House @willistonns taking a shape #Classof1968 #readyToGo pic.twitter.com/HcF73D0Ax6
— RWHill (@Hill3Williston) August 8, 2018
"It is a portrait of the cosmos that is at once an adventure story, a moral discourse, an allegory, and a means to stimulate the reader to reflection on higher theological and metaphysical realities." https://t.co/nYtdMhzq1v
— The American Conservative (@amconmag) August 7, 2018
Groundbreaking Discovery: Paleontologists Have Agreed To Start Saying That Stegosauruses Had Beautiful Singing Voices Because It’s A Nice Thought And It’s Not Like They’re Hurting Anyone https://t.co/mYQpeoL7Lf pic.twitter.com/jdbjP4tLFr
— ClickHole (@ClickHole) August 6, 2018
Guys, I live here and Chicago people only eat deep dish when our families come to town.
— Emily Zanotti (@emzanotti) August 6, 2018
Just witnessed an incredible DC moment:
— Katy Mersfighter (@KatyMersmann) August 4, 2018
A guy read a woman’s text over her shoulder and interrupted to say “Just so you know, the NSA reads everything you send.” And she turned around and goes “Yeah, I work for them. I know.”
If you fight for free speech only for people who agree with you then you are not for free speech.
— scripting.com (@davewiner) August 6, 2018
How Different Cultures Understand Time https://t.co/JtMX1JCD7B
— Faris (@faris) August 4, 2018
Just hit me that at say $3/gallon and say 40mpg, it would be cheaper for a self-driving gasoline car to just circle around than park anywhere at more than $3/hr. At say $0.5/mile fully loaded operating cost it’s not worth parking above $20/h.
— Venkatesh Rao (@vgr) August 4, 2018
The loitering car cloud is coming.
Words of wisdom for peak summer vacation trip season. pic.twitter.com/7JVpd5Gemx
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) August 4, 2018
— Scot Hacker (@shacker) August 4, 2018
Big guy, sun's getting real low. Thor: Ragnarok is live tonight at 7:30 pacific, https://t.co/k8y9GCjjQo
— The Incomparable (@theincomparable) August 4, 2018
‘Little Q&A’ — new episode:https://t.co/AaYsFSIRbI
— The Talk Show (@thetalkshow) August 2, 2018
Inside every 67-page pitch deck is a useful one-pager struggling to get out.
— Morgan Housel (@morganhousel) July 31, 2018
Inside every 67-page pitch deck is a useful one-pager struggling to get out.
— Morgan Housel (@morganhousel) July 31, 2018
Here’s a thing I spent a lot of time obsessing over that I feel hardly anybody noticed. pic.twitter.com/M3mncPF5pc
— Olly Moss (@ollymoss) August 1, 2018
Just in case you were wondering: this is really fun and really hard and really fun and really hard and really fun and really hard and really fun and really hard but with all that said it's really fun.
— Aman Brar (@amandbrar) July 30, 2018
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