Dispute settling time. In The 12 Days of Christmas, do the gifts stack, or are the gift numbers absolute? (i.e. do you get a partridge every day, for a total of 12 partridges, etc? Or just 1 partridge on the first day?)
— Dan McCoy (Skrimblebimble the Butt Cat) (@dankmccoy) November 30, 2020
it says in the text of the song that on the second day, the true love gave them two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree. It does not say "and I also still had yesterday's gift"
— Kat Helgeson (@kat_helgeson) November 30, 2020
What of the “AND” Dan? Every day AND a partridge in a pear tree.
— Dan McCoy (Skrimblebimble the Butt Cat) (@dankmccoy) November 30, 2020
Happy #AMSDAY! We thank our valued members for their continued support. Please enjoy a day of significant publication discounts, access to MathSciNet and AMS journals for the day, and a special gift for charitable donations. #AMSDay #AMSmember https://t.co/IMbx4InwKE pic.twitter.com/MZ0dAVlHHf
— American Mathematical Society (@amermathsoc) November 30, 2020
We are well within a couple of years of the “let me get that for you Dad, you’re going to hurt yourself” stage of Christmas decorating.
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) November 29, 2020
"It's wrong to deprive someone else of a pleasure so that you can enjoy one yourself, but to deprive yourself of a pleasure so that you can add to someone else's enjoyment is an act of humanity by which you always gain more than you lose." Thomas More#leadership#management
— Dan Rockwell (@Leadershipfreak) November 29, 2020
It must look beautiful when the myst rolls in.
— Kevin Fox 🦊😷 (@kfury) November 28, 2020
I have a joke about Apple, and I can't wait to see what you do with it. https://t.co/RMsYLbwLSJ
— Jason Snell (@jsnell) November 28, 2020
Every Christopher Nolan movie feels like a really long teaser trailer for the movie you're watching.
— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) November 28, 2020
I have no Eric Clapton opinions other than that my dad so frequently played the “MTV Unplugged” album that when I was in college and finally saw “Goodfellas,” I was like, wow, someone did a really amped-up cover of that famous slow song “Layla.”
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) November 28, 2020
Always buy and peel too many potatoes to make enough mashed potatoes for any possible number of guests.
— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) November 26, 2020
I've been waiting since March for this moment. The moment where I can put a period on all of my years of coverage reiterating a very simple truth:
— David Yanofsky (@YAN0) November 26, 2020
The day before Thanksgiving is not the busiest day to fly.https://t.co/wX6XSGd2hwhttps://t.co/NWv0mBHNdVhttps://t.co/mqIis9QDdB
I post a lot of inane garbage on here (it’s kind of my “thing”) but I am pausing to say that I’m grateful for, among many other things, everyone who has shown support to me or to my little family during the craziest year of everyone’s lives. Thanks all, enjoy the day!
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) November 26, 2020
Just tried pecan pie that always thought hated and I loved it. That is my Happy Thanksgiving message to you.
— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) November 26, 2020
Dave has been ordered to add a feature to the app, and asked to explain why it’ll take so long to do. Finally @gruber in a fit of frustration asks for the source so he can add it himself over the holiday weekend. Dave gives him the code and starts work on a fresh project.
— dave@scripting.com (@davewiner) November 26, 2020
I swear the closest my wife & I get to a divorce is during the annual holiday card ordering debacle. Setting up the tree is right there in a close second place.
— Charlie Griffith (@cegriff3) November 25, 2020
When using Safari, the MacBook Pro’s Touch Bar displays tiny screenshot snippets of each tab that’s open in the web browser, making it a cinch to move between tabs. pic.twitter.com/E4mtVFhtaY
— Joe Moreno (@JoeMoreno) November 24, 2020
Can we please stop using where people went to college decades ago as a proxy for how competent they are now?https://t.co/ZbJI3Ae4eO
— Robert Kelchen (@rkelchen) November 24, 2020
Share Your Screen by Scott Adams https://t.co/VEjYQGkQJN via @Dilbert_Daily
— Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) November 24, 2020
My new ringtone https://t.co/PgimHE3wVc
— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) November 23, 2020
My new ringtone https://t.co/PgimHE3wVc
— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) November 23, 2020
.@KenJennings has been named interim #Jeopardy host https://t.co/TkJjhpPRiM pic.twitter.com/oMKwE0mpIO
— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) November 23, 2020
Water https://t.co/lCKO6zJkxs
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) November 22, 2020
@marcoarment I figured you would like this... pic.twitter.com/YSqOoi8LIN
— NΞAL (@Newdl) November 22, 2020
Get rid of SAT and ACT for college admissions requirements! Independent research proves they are not indicative of a student’s success in college. High school GPA & a student’s work ethic or study habits are better indicators of a student’s college success. #StudentsFirst #Spoke
— Ray H Sr (@Raymone__Sr) November 21, 2020
Delving further into the world of children’s books has one hundred percent reversed my initial opinion of Madonna’s “The English Roses,” which I now think of as a work of unique wit, sophistication, and visual beauty...
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) November 21, 2020
Thinking about Westminster? Learn more about our admissions office, how you can apply, and more! https://t.co/4ZMeaqq5Yh pic.twitter.com/PioYKi6RW1
— Westminster School (@WestminsterCT) November 20, 2020
Ban Senators from trading individual stocks. Period.
— Jon Ossoff (@ossoff) November 19, 2020
My friend @joetrippi taught me something about politics. https://t.co/l15zrndXHg pic.twitter.com/f5VbOoFZZO
— dave@scripting.com (@davewiner) November 19, 2020
A fish rots from the head down!
— Gino (@ginofarese) November 19, 2020
Capitalism has room for a vibrant, rational, focused union movement. https://t.co/f835vGfpXL
— Charlie Griffith (@cegriff3) November 19, 2020
The takeout place nearby does an incredible burger. It comes with fresh, hand-cut fries and they're AMAZING but there aren't enough of them. Well, tonight, friends, I ordered the burger and fries WITH an order of fries. And now it's definitely too many fries but I REGRET NOTHING.
— Andy Ihnatko (@Ihnatko) November 19, 2020
Just found a legitimate reason to drop my all-time favorite scene from “The Office” into a golf article, coming Friday: https://t.co/AdVLBRRcse
— Tim Gavrich (@TimGavrich) November 18, 2020
Would that this were not still true. https://t.co/6KXc5QMmWz
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) November 17, 2020
Fox News and Facebook did to our parents what they said video games would do to us.
— Ally Maynard (@allymayn) November 16, 2020
With both Moderna and Pfizer announcing the successful development of a vaccine that appears to be over 90% effective, take a minute to appreciate how fucking amazing that is. A group of scientists will have beaten a novel disease less than a year after its outbreak. Go science.
— Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane) November 16, 2020
Voluntary dismissal incoming
— Carter Clatyon (@ugalawdawg) November 17, 2020
“Things were bad for me, so they should stay bad for everyone else” is not a good argument against debt cancellation - student, medical, or otherwise. #CancelStudentDebt
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) November 16, 2020
Diebold strategy, Cotton https://t.co/rrqCzmMrqf
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) November 16, 2020
@Winter check out what I spotted in Sheboygan Wisconsin pic.twitter.com/W6URvoS6pi
— Critter Jams (@CritterJams) November 15, 2020
Are federal and SCOTUS clerkships very prestigious? Yes. Is becoming a federal prosecutor prestigious? Yes. Does 8 years of experience qualify you to be a federal district court judge? Absolutely not.
— Don’t Stand So Close To Me (And Wear A Mask) (@mfredericks1x) November 15, 2020
Way to go Andre! Leader by example! https://t.co/YR1Fj1AArG
— Robert W. Hill (@Hill3Williston) November 15, 2020
It's just a jump to the left
— Christopher Gray (@grayer_mist) November 14, 2020
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Sally's younger sister Sue marries Mike.
— Kellen Myers (@kellen_myers) November 14, 2020
Mike & Sue eventually have a child, me.
Sally is a talented mathematician but grows disappointed with her crass peers, becoming a bit rude.
I grow fond of Sally despite her demeanor.
Sally is rude to you.
Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally.
Half counterclockwise round punch
— Mauro Artigiani (@m_artigiani) November 13, 2020
Robert's Rules
— Alex Betsos, Marquis De Réagent (@ADrugResearcher) November 13, 2020
PEMDAS
— Ian Arbitraria (@ianarbitraria) November 13, 2020
1. Put variables in alphabetic order
2. Empty all sets
3. Multiply by 0
4. Don't double check, you'll only get confused
5.Assume solution
6. Sarcastic reply
Someone else will have to explain the details
no Corporate Influence in the Cabinet is better policy and better politicshttps://t.co/Bpe3noMUKw
— Zephyr Teachout (@ZephyrTeachout) November 12, 2020
Should the reigning NCAA individual champion be granted an invitation to the Masters? I think it would be cool to see, as would an invite for the reigning U.S. Junior Amateur champion.
— Tim Gavrich (@TimGavrich) November 12, 2020
Not allowed to talk about it. That’s the first rule.
— Marshall McKinnon (@hiimmarsh) November 11, 2020
World War II hero comes home, and after an eventful dinner in an Italian restaurant and an Italian honeymoon, moves to Lake Tahoe.
— YOUNG MT (@MXTracy66) November 11, 2020
This girl meets this guy and at first she doesn’t like him but then she starts to like him but then something happens and it looks like they’re going to break up but at the end they kiss.
— St. Simeon the Four Seasons Total Landscaping Fool (@SimeonTheFool) November 10, 2020
A detective hunts robots, has sex with a robot, might be a robot.
— Flixnut (@flixnut1) November 10, 2020
Lots of people feeling discombobulated pic.twitter.com/DQrelDHwaR
— nylah burton (@yumcoconutmilk) November 8, 2020
I think it may be time to re-binge The West Wing.https://t.co/TZrL0ayycN
— dave@scripting.com (@davewiner) November 9, 2020
I'm old enough to remember when the Republican party was the one that was against frivolous lawsuits
— David Yanofsky (@YAN0) November 9, 2020
I am excited to see the end of the popular belief that any protest art, no matter how poorly executed, contradictory, baffling, or outright stupid, is worth sharing because it is protest art. There is one particular sharer of this art I am thinking of here!
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) November 8, 2020
Today's the day budget deficits become the GOP's #1 priority again.
— James S Murphy (@James_S_Murphy) November 8, 2020
Right? https://t.co/2BjBUYLYIH
— Julian Fleisher (@JulianFlei) November 7, 2020
Not to be embarrassing but I will remember being outside in Brooklyn when the news began to dawn on everyone... forever?
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) November 7, 2020
Four Seasons Total Landscaping is going to be the best obscure trivia question answer that we’ll all laugh about for the rest of our lives.
— Beau Colburn (@beaucolburn) November 7, 2020
We all know the work is just starting but just give us a few fucking hours of joy. It’s been a long time.
— Amy Jane Gruber (@AmyJane) November 7, 2020
All of us now https://t.co/e1LoftDoUw
— Vasser (@VasserB) November 7, 2020
It’s been a DAMN great day!!!! pic.twitter.com/raspcv1tIP
— Holly Betz (@mombetz) November 7, 2020
Refresh
— Galen Druke (@galendruke) November 7, 2020
your
podcast
feeds.
The
presidential
election
is
over.
“News TWELvvvvE, Long Island.” https://t.co/TG9jV3EDMW
— John Siracusa (@siracusa) November 7, 2020
I feel like we didn’t focus enough on the fact that someone in the Trump campaign meant to schedule the “four seasons hotel” but definitely accidentally scheduled this “four seasons landscaping” store and they had to follow through with it. Veep was not this good. pic.twitter.com/DTJIQGsKHG
— Alex Sexton (@SlexAxton) November 7, 2020
Let’s applaud Joe Biden’s lack of declaration despite the obvious win. He’s demonstrating that there are norms of independent and transparent verification and accountability. A candidate for president should never be able to claim that tremendous mantle just on their own say so.
— Patrick Gaspard (@patrickgaspard) November 7, 2020
By at least 4.5 million votes.
— R Despres (@knityarn) November 7, 2020
#HitTheRoadJack 👊🏼😉👍🏼
— 🦗🍂🍃The Smokin Grasshopper🍃🍂🦗 (@Grasshopper2049) November 5, 2020
pic.twitter.com/3Sp9A4ohId
I so look forward to the day I no longer have to hear Donald Trump’s voice on any medium.
— Jerry W. Grayson (@w_grayson) November 6, 2020
Domino and I are feeling lucky. pic.twitter.com/J5OjJlJ46H
— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) November 6, 2020
I became a journalist because I liked data visualization, design, and math.
— David Yanofsky (@YAN0) November 6, 2020
Turns out there's lots of data visualization, design, and math!
You think you’re over the Dreams reiterations, but listen to this one. Gave me goosebumps. Have a great day! https://t.co/aiuW1vOr0A
— Holly Betz (@mombetz) November 6, 2020
Hope everyone is enjoying their week-long stint as a data scientist, the most glamorous tech job of the last 10 years, supposed to be spent analyzing sophisticated models, but really spent mostly monitoring those few stray batch import jobs that haven't finished yet.
— Vicki Boykis (@vboykis) November 6, 2020
This sounds like a lopsided tilt from some kind of expected equilibrium. But the overwhelming majority of counties are already red. Blue counties are few and dense. Trump won 85% of counties, nationwide, in 2016. The article needs to show the delta between the norm.
— Aaron van de Weijenbergh (@aweyenberg) November 5, 2020
I've listened to the NYer Fiction podcast for, jeez, more than a decade now. Seems I won't be hearing a D. Eisenberg story on it anytime soon. Bit of a Deborah downer...
— Tim Gavrich (@TimGavrich) November 5, 2020
Florida 2000 was a formative nightmare for my generation, but I suspect we’re gonna come out on the other side of this one thankful that elections in this country are locally administered.
— Matt Pearce 🦅 (@mattdpearce) November 5, 2020
Anyway I’m on the Daily Show tonight. 🔥
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) November 5, 2020
How Charlie Chaplin Used Groundbreaking Visual Effects to Shoot the Death-Defying Roller Skate Scene in Modern Times (1936) https://t.co/4hRbTtiR4F pic.twitter.com/zc1rEoXDw4
— Open Culture (@openculture) November 5, 2020
I want to be able to touch a button in @DoorDash and have food delivered to poll workers.
— Aman Brar (@amandbrar) November 5, 2020
There’s a lot almost happening very rapidly today.
— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) November 5, 2020
I suppose I ... think we might get some Nevada calls soon here? Except not from the folks that called AZ for Biden because you probably shouldn't have called AZ for Biden yet and if you did, calling NV gives him the presidency.
— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) November 5, 2020
— Rob Long (@rcbl) November 5, 2020
Girls invited to global seminar on democracy https://t.co/wK6sFnKwNy
— Timothy Quinn (@TimothyQuinn6) November 5, 2020
she’s been eating solid food for a month...! pic.twitter.com/jho9kLw8sx
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) November 4, 2020
this might be the most accurate tweet ever 😂😂😂
— Esh (@C0nstellashun) November 4, 2020
Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania after finally counting their absentee ballots #Election2020 pic.twitter.com/HNPGdMIZkz
— H A I L E Y (@ipip_hooray) November 4, 2020
There should be no billionaire owners in sports, Packers for all! https://t.co/ARNjiJs96P
— staying home stan account (@Convolutedname) November 3, 2020
Why yes, yes—I am! https://t.co/J8i4wY3PGW
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) November 3, 2020
Life comes at you fast pic.twitter.com/Qkq7PGD5tP
— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) November 3, 2020
Is it my imagination or are Biden supporters distrusting the polls that say Biden has it in the bag?
— Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) November 3, 2020
There is No Truth, There is Only Workflow https://t.co/BPAcgQ2Fls via @scholarlykitchn
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) November 2, 2020
White Russians are wonderful.
— dave@scripting.com (@davewiner) November 2, 2020
I can't be the first person to come up with this. pic.twitter.com/5ltM6L0kz9
— Zachery Tyson✍️🇺🇸 (@ZaknafeinDC) November 1, 2020
when ur trying to decide how often to get tested
— liva (@realchoppedliva) November 1, 2020
with @stresscry @cowboypraxis @neoguristirfry pic.twitter.com/HQCbvAArWY
Posts
All Comments
