“At the time...” 💯
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) August 1, 2019
My favorite part of the writing process is cleaning the apartment.
— Susanna L Harris (@SusannaLHarris) July 30, 2019
It's The Thing, Charlie Brown h/t Fipi Lele pic.twitter.com/5oREbHpV1y
— Masque of the Red Death (@doctorow) July 30, 2019
for the trees have no thumbs
— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) July 30, 2019
What's your bacon number?
— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) July 30, 2019
(Me: 3.5) pic.twitter.com/PuuajsHRGq
They put some music on after the Apple financial call and my transcriber tried its best with hilarious results pic.twitter.com/YQmVAodCjw
— Jason Snell (@jsnell) July 30, 2019
Apple has made some money. More than some people expected, but not as much as others did. They sell products and services to many people in many countries and it seems complicated.
— Stephen Hackett (@ismh) July 30, 2019
I await my TV invite, CNBC.
Me in this game called life pic.twitter.com/KzX88U47uF
— Wu-Tang Financial 🥑 (@Wu_Tang_Finance) July 30, 2019
Hungarian town WWI memorial. If you don’t get the poignancy, unfollow me. Please. pic.twitter.com/QpHJUtus2n
— Robert Bateman (@RobertLBateman) July 30, 2019
Turn the debate into Pop-Up Video https://t.co/U653wlxLsM pic.twitter.com/GVg2I2ycTU
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) July 30, 2019
Person 1: welcome home. Did you have a good day looking at screens at work?
— Paul Musgrave (@profmusgrave) July 29, 2019
Person 2: yes, my screens were good. How were your screens?
1: they were less good, so I’d like to watch something on the big screen in our house.
2: okay, but I might use my small screen while we watch.
The rideshare app tells me that my driver's name is Diogynes and he'll be here in eight minutes. I've been spending this whole time thinking "if he's unable to find me, that would speak very poorly of my character."
— Andy Ihnatko (@Ihnatko) July 29, 2019
Alternative Big O notations:
— Pranay Pathole (@PPathole) July 28, 2019
O(1) = O(yeah)
O(log n) = O(nice)
O(nlogn) = O(k-ish)
O(n) = O(ok)
O(n²) = O(my)
O(2ⁿ) = O(no)
O(n^n) = O(fuck)
O(n!) = O(mg!)
Small-government supporters/Republicans/conservatives arguing we can fix the student loan program by having the government make loans to only certain *good* degrees just sounds to me like: "The government is bad at stuff except when I'm in charge."
— Jason Delisle (@delislealleges) July 29, 2019
Erm... exactly how long have you been married?
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) July 29, 2019
Apparently Gen X is being overlooked. Who knew? https://t.co/zhnX7qwmya
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) July 29, 2019
there is a New York Times wedding announcement for a gay couple in which one of the players has the same name as my husband... a dark and confusing surprise to wake up to before I'd had my English breakfast tea......
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) July 28, 2019
Was 100% worth it. Being a leader in the Army isn’t being in the (whatever your branch/MOS does) business, it’s being in the people business. /*
— TheGrizzlyNCO (@MiCBarin) July 28, 2019
┏┓
— Sam Wolfand (@swolfand) July 26, 2019
┃┃╱╲ in this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we
▔▏┗┛▕▔ delete
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
The utm data off
of links before
sharing them
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
I love my #HBCU because no other college accepted me. My SAT score was 980 and my GPA was barely a 2.0. Morgan State University gave me a chance to improve as a learner. Here I am, 3 degrees post-high school, heading to get my first doctorate at Johns Hopkins, thanks to my HBCU. pic.twitter.com/OqmGYqhzX1
— —— (@ValenciaDClay) July 26, 2019
No idea what the study actually showed, if anything. (Plus, I really don’t care, tbh.) Fav’ed this just for the “correlation is not causation.” Among the words to live by.
— Deb Seymour (@DebSeymour51) July 27, 2019
Correlation is not causation. https://t.co/kqYiqPBZAY
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) July 27, 2019
Laptops are real computers.
— John Siracusa (@siracusa) July 27, 2019
Consider the invite for 1SG revoked
— Angry Staff Officer (@pptsapper) July 26, 2019
Oooooooo https://t.co/x0PhwSEWXE
— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) July 26, 2019
I’ve had 2 viral tweets ever and they are surprisingly similar: https://t.co/eq6RNNYwp0
— Austin Petersmith (@awwstn) July 26, 2019
This week: a Q&A episode with special guest @moltz. Ask us anything, right here on Twitter in @’s or DM’s to this account.
— The Talk Show (@thetalkshow) July 26, 2019
First view of the Andes pic.twitter.com/0Q3BkaEOoT
— Nancy Pearl (@Nancy_Pearl) July 25, 2019
Best Demonstration of inertia ever 🙂 pic.twitter.com/DH4QCz5jH3
— Physics & Astronomy Zone (@ZonePhysics) July 25, 2019
Wouldn't it be French : Spanish?
— Unit8502 (@84wsmith) July 25, 2019
I think you meant the awesome Horseshoe Falls : Meh American Falls
— C.H. Milar (@Rickomortice68) July 25, 2019
United States : Mexico
— Edward Banatt (@ArmaVirumque) July 25, 2019
“Great question” usually means “I have a great answer” to the question. The responder is motivated to talk up the question to make it seem insightful since they think they have an even better answer.
— Neil Cybart (@neilcybart) July 25, 2019
proud to announce my new fund Backchannel Ventures.
— 👨🏻💻☕️ (@hunterwalk) July 24, 2019
We don't write any checks or do any work. We just talk to other VCs about startups, and other startups about VCs.
Then collect advisor shares and carry points from both sides.
do u ever get sad about all the books that you let friends borrow and then never saw again
— Haley Byrd (@byrdinator) July 25, 2019
So which of those two selfless organizations have their offices at the top of Salesforce Tower? Did you ask Calbright if it has properly thanked the legislature for giving it a de facto monopoly for online T4 access?
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) July 25, 2019
That’s literally what I get paid to do Darren. https://t.co/FKcSqoRtfz
— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) July 25, 2019
[Blade Runner. Minute 25. Deckard rifles through Leon’s photos]
— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) July 25, 2019
KID: The Han Solo guy’s a replica and doesn’t know it.
ME: He what now?
K: He doesn’t know he’s a replica.
M: You mean “replicant.” But…just…who knows?
K: Then yeah he’s definitely a replica.
M: (God DAMN it)
everyone likes to think they'd be the Lyra or Will in "His Dark Materials" but I think in reality, I'd be, like, working on a magazine profile headlined "Coulter Shock! Marisa Coulter Takes Us to Church — and Tells Us Why What She Has with Asriel Is Real."
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) July 24, 2019
They observe but do not interfere
— Overton Window Washer Sean (@spkorb) July 21, 2019
Expired 1992 and 1989.
(Wyler's bullion cubes in beef and chicken)
My mum had (maybe still has?!) a large Morton’s Salt container with salt still in it. Couldn’t say the year it may have been off the top of my head, but the price sticker said 11 cents.
— Rhetorical Platypus (@RPlatypus) July 19, 2019
I'm not great at math, also I'm doing it in my head right before bed, but is there actually any benefit to waiting to find an item?
— David (@AngryObie) July 19, 2019
I'm not getting graph paper, I'm staying in bed. I'm not getting graph paper, I'm staying in bed. I'm not getting graph paper, I'm staying in bed.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe are true. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.
— Martin Jacobsen (@MortyOslo) July 24, 2019
R.I.P. Rütger Hauer...
I couldn't have said it better myself, Mr. del Toro.
— Critical Thinker-Cradle To Grave! (@sta_united) July 24, 2019
I loved Rutger Hauer.
He was intense & captivating. When he was on screen, no one & nothing else mattered. He was a 'one of a kind', like Christopher Walken. No one could take either's place.
RIP-Mr. Hauer, & TY for your work.
One of the great film monologues. I taught 'Blade Runner' and this monologue cut through to even my most reluctant English students. pic.twitter.com/oeiZuxdfLi
— Mike Stuchbery💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) July 24, 2019
#RIP #RutgerHauer Legend of my childhood. His most iconic scene - the last words and death of Roy Batty - was set in 2019. pic.twitter.com/HGZT5f2CLI
— Cary Brothers (@carybrothers) July 24, 2019
One of the great film monologues. I taught 'Blade Runner' and this monologue cut through to even my most reluctant English students. pic.twitter.com/oeiZuxdfLi
— Mike Stuchbery💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) July 24, 2019
The Greatest Escape Artist pic.twitter.com/cBpNjbzu56
— Zach King (@FinalCutKing) July 23, 2019
It’s a real stressful job.
— Adam Selby (@adamselby) July 23, 2019
I prefer to look at this as a (net) $80 annual dividend I receive for not being a @BMWUSA driver. 🤷♂️
— David Hobby (@strobist) July 23, 2019
— SUCC MAN (@lawfollower69) July 18, 2019
Even if "Cats" bombs at the box office the cast is still going to land on its feet.
— Emily Richmond (@EWAEmily) July 22, 2019
This is heartbreaking.
— Daniel Stewart (@danjamstewart) July 22, 2019
What a future we are being left. pic.twitter.com/xlS5PEeP6O
I think I might have seen @siracusa driving in San Diego last night. cc @marcoarment @caseyliss pic.twitter.com/cECu2UBsBW
— Joe Bezdek (@joebez) July 21, 2019
The song “Fly Me to the Moon” also references Jupiter Mars & the Stars:
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 19, 2019
Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
And let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars.
FYI: Due to its axial tilt, Mars does actually experience Spring. Jupiter, not so much.
Absolutely snatched his ankles pic.twitter.com/MShCFfpSK6
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) July 20, 2019
The song “Fly Me to the Moon” also references Jupiter Mars & the Stars:
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 19, 2019
Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
And let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars.
FYI: Due to its axial tilt, Mars does actually experience Spring. Jupiter, not so much.
What I imagine parenting is like:
— Kelly Vaughn 🐞 (@kvlly) July 17, 2019
Parent: can you please clean your room?
Kid: no
Parent: sudo clean your room
Kid: fine
ATP: The Podcast That’s Good Enough for Your Pets to Poop On™ https://t.co/80xf9VOCTm
— John Siracusa (@siracusa) July 20, 2019
Yasiel Puig ran exactly like Jack Sparrow 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/j8BLyaRVG9
— Kent (@RealKentMurphy) July 19, 2019
Moon Landing: July 20, 1969
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 20, 2019
No other act of human exploration ever laid a plaque saying: "We Came In Peace For All Mankind" pic.twitter.com/dD2wQf4HhE
NATEFIIIIIIGHT pic.twitter.com/WCPYMaqIiU
— Owen Ellickson (@onlxn) July 20, 2019
Software engineers: take your children to work with you. This is pure gold https://t.co/U9XP2IWLpF pic.twitter.com/8LTLfCKuyW
— Gina Trapani 🏳️🌈 (@ginatrapani) July 18, 2019
What about simple risk-sharing for graduate programs. That’s a program that I think would be far more defensible. It would exacerbate the cost crisis in higher ed and drive up undergrad tuition, but it would be a good place to start to see what happens. @EDAnalyst @nickducoff
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) July 18, 2019
Conversations that happen in the Army:
— Bill Leasure (@Bill_Leasure) July 17, 2019
"LT, if you use Calibri on your Powerpoints you're a lazy son of b*tch. Arial is the font of champions."
I should plant myself on a lawn chair on the National Mall with an “Ask A Historian” sign and just see what happens.
— David Walsh (@DavidAstinWalsh) July 17, 2019
and whispered your name https://t.co/8HZhAD7UO2
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 15, 2019
If you want to learn about brave, stop by a children’s hospital. pic.twitter.com/rkGFaXfEtW
— Justin Kaufman (@JUSTINMKAUFMAN) July 18, 2019
This is a great idea of a way to help kids learn how to appropriately give feedback to their peers- https://t.co/1rEJWmxEtp
— Greg Sederberg (@GregSederberg) July 17, 2019
If you name one of your children 'Hunter,' you should be obligated to name the next one 'Gatherer.'
— John Wiswell (@Wiswell) July 16, 2019
Litigation in movies v. litigation in reality pic.twitter.com/RSrAAypbDE
— Zoe Tillman (@ZoeTillman) July 17, 2019
folks, there should be a Saturn V rocket projected onto the Washington monument every day pic.twitter.com/ldQg5EmdQm
— Haley Byrd (@byrdinator) July 17, 2019
Standing by... pic.twitter.com/o3WD1aqF8Y
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) July 17, 2019
This poem just gutted me. pic.twitter.com/yRWtFREh4D
— Erin Templeton (@eetempleton) July 17, 2019
Listening to A Perfect Spy, possibly leCarre’s most depressing novel ever-I feel desperately sorry for Magnus. Hearing it read makes it more intense (for me) than reading it was years ago.
— Nancy Pearl (@Nancy_Pearl) July 17, 2019
And here's the twist: If you bought one of those silly Boring Company flamethrowers, there's a secretly buried clause in the TOS that automatically volunteers you to join the first round of human trials for Elon's sewing machine brain robot. Congratulations!
— Michael Calore (@snackfight) July 17, 2019
broke: pro-wrestling is fake
— caramujo 🐌 (@caramujokick) July 17, 2019
woke: pro-wrestling is worked
bespoke: in late capitalist hyperreality pro-wrestling is just about as real as anything else, really
This sounds like a good English class. https://t.co/qDckhEVeOF
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) July 17, 2019
No leverage please https://t.co/R9MAhq5TLC This is a great way to think about hiring.
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) July 17, 2019
Gnight.
— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) July 17, 2019
Double down on hope.
Double down on kindness.
Double down on your friends.
Double down on gratitude.
Eco-Conscious Hotel Lets Guests Decide Whether They Want Room’s Towels Washed Before Next Guests Arrive https://t.co/TjfmTsc1dL pic.twitter.com/DQSiqTbAIf
— The Onion (@TheOnion) July 15, 2019
If you are “stuck with student loans you can’t pay off” there is an incredibly generous income-based repayment program (not dissimilar to ISAs) which keeps the payment manageable and then after 20 years the loan is forgiven. https://t.co/J0mvfH87MK
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) July 15, 2019
Its the opposite of yoink
— Peter Ellis (@pjie2) July 13, 2019
“ The fire died down and the stars descended.” — John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) July 13, 2019
you are a goddess and I love you so much 😂 https://t.co/mVSo2k1mK8
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July 13, 2019
The biggest stories in the world are sometimes the quietest. #GreenNuclearDeal @subschneider https://t.co/R3bJrycGla
— Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) July 13, 2019
It’s Friday, which means it's COOL GOLF THING time!
— Tim Gavrich (@TimGavrich) July 12, 2019
Big tip of the hat to @SirPuttsalot for inspiring this week’s entry, which starts with one of the most pitiful meltdowns I’ve seen on a golf course: https://t.co/NXXI8Ilad2
Was that wrong? https://t.co/NVaQvcZpIX
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) July 11, 2019
Thank you @AmericanAir for your care in getting my mom on board today. Great service. pic.twitter.com/NPSGFAna6A
— Mary Titsworth Chandler (@marytchandler) July 11, 2019
Finally the new, correct chef checks arrived, but as a final punishment for my impulsive dumbness, we then had to shred 1,000 chef-less checks, in small batches, or else the shredder would overheat
— Cabel (@cabel) July 11, 2019
There's an extremely valuable lesson here somewhere but I refuse to process it
#1. Submitting the application. https://t.co/PIk8Y3P6Bx
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) July 9, 2019
Man for a country that doesn’t care about women or soccer, we are fucking amazing at women’s soccer
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) July 7, 2019
Defeat fear by acknowledging fear:
— Dan Rockwell (@Leadershipfreak) July 8, 2019
Don’t try to bolster courage by pretending you aren’t afraid, instead explain how you’re facing fear. Successful leaders admit their fear and acknowledge the fear of others.https://t.co/r8t1EP0gbR#leadership#LFreakpost pic.twitter.com/1k5U7qDQ6S
Hot takes will become warm and then cold and then grow moldy. The important things are often not the sexy things of the moment.
— The Writer Formerly Known As Elnathan (@elnathan_john) July 7, 2019
Twitter is a beast. It makes you think you have to respond. To jump in. Weigh in on every controversy, most utterly useless chatter.
Good health is underrated. All the fine cloths, cars, houses, everything becomes useless when you don’t have good health.
— Dr. Dípò Awójídé (@OgbeniDipo) July 7, 2019
Everything before the "but" is meant to be ignored by the speaker; and everything after the "but" should be ignored by the listener.
— Nassim Nicholas Taleb (@nntaleb) July 7, 2019
Bed of Procrustes, 2nd ed.
Yes, each is entirely standalone.
— John Siracusa (@siracusa) July 5, 2019
Twice in one year John‽
— Casey Liss (@caseyliss) July 5, 2019
😱
People will be spinning like whirling dervishes on top of this thing. pic.twitter.com/X48UdEoeiR
— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) July 5, 2019
🦞 Thread https://t.co/z73d77Hfb4
— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) July 3, 2019
Who called it "Best Budget Keyboards" and not "QWERTY under 30"
— Emily Kager (@EmilyKager) July 2, 2019
All of this is good advice. https://t.co/wWJGTHSzEX
— scripting.com (@davewiner) July 2, 2019
Got the watch beta installed by unpairing it, rebooting both devices, setting up as new, reinstalling the watch beta profile, then updating it.
— Marco Arment (@marcoarment) July 2, 2019
Now back to its usual bullshit. Ah, feels like home. pic.twitter.com/MWo5ngOBIc
Oh hey 17 year old self intimidated by overconfident dudes in freshman physics, oh hey anxious postdoc self sure none of it could possibly work out, oh hey super overwhelmed Assistant Prof self wondering how this job is possible: I became a Professor of Physics at Stanford today.
— Risa Wechsler (@RisaWechsler) July 2, 2019
Ok, but arbitrary length requirements reward verbosity, not quality. Better to set maximums than mins. Writing is done when you can remove no more, not fill up pages.
— Podcast Notes (@podcastnotes) July 2, 2019
“San Francisco: a city with the population of Jacksonville, Florida, and the self-importance of New York” - @juliacarriew https://t.co/yTc5mBsWyX
— Ryan Mac 🙃 (@RMac18) July 1, 2019
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