Favorite tweet from sonsalli

My 5 year old, out of the blue: “I can just lick my knee any time I want to!”
Yale it is then.

— Allison Alexander (@sonsalli) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/sonsalli

February 23, 2019 at 05:13PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Trace_Urdan

Arrived for a meeting, was offered Diet Pepsi and was delivered a Diet Coke. Now *that’s* how you manage expectations!

— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) February 28, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Trace_Urdan

February 28, 2019 at 04:59PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from sonsalli

But it doesn’t. I’ve tried that about a billion times. What it wants is your soul. And some more cyan ink.

— Allison Alexander (@sonsalli) February 28, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/sonsalli

February 28, 2019 at 10:04AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from danpfeiffer

The whole Trump saga is like the Godfather but if all of the characters were Fredo

— Dan Pfeiffer (@danpfeiffer) February 27, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/danpfeiffer

February 27, 2019 at 12:34PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from jbarro

When I said "nice house you have here, shame if anything happened to it" I was only commenting on your excellent decorating taste and how much I hate hurricanes. https://t.co/BqnKO24IPJ

— Josh Barro (@jbarro) February 27, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/jbarro

February 27, 2019 at 01:14AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from siracusa

How does he even find the time?

— John Siracusa (@siracusa) February 27, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/siracusa

February 26, 2019 at 11:37PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from MaireCervenak

Don’t be that teacher who doesn’t share resources with their colleagues. It’s like totally weird and trust me, totally lonely.

— Maire Cervenak (@MaireCervenak) February 26, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/MaireCervenak

February 26, 2019 at 06:23PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Nancy_Pearl

How to help people find their next good book

— Nancy Pearl (@Nancy_Pearl) February 27, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Nancy_Pearl

February 26, 2019 at 09:23PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from smarick

I often see Twitter jokes about the struggles of parenthood; op-eds about how parenthood drains bank accounts and happiness; arguments that climate change undermines the case for having kids.

Let me offer another take: Being a dad is the greatest honor and pleasure imaginable.

— Andy Smarick (@smarick) February 26, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/smarick

February 25, 2019 at 10:15PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from DPD_

I'm Lee Scoresby, and here's the score, see?
We've gotta fight Mrs. Coulter in a war. Gee!
Hop in my balloon and don't forget your dang daemon,
We're gonna fly up north -- can I get an amen?

— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) February 25, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DPD_

February 25, 2019 at 02:01PM
via IFTTT

RT @kashanacauley: So that’s why they don’t have a host. https://t.co/0fqHYxeZ5k

So that’s why they don’t have a host. https://t.co/0fqHYxeZ5k

— Kashana (@kashanacauley) February 25, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from Firsou

"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers." -Thomas Jefferson

— Firas Cheaib (@Firsou) February 24, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Firsou

February 24, 2019 at 03:10PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from DPD_

Honestly? It could have been worse.

— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) February 25, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DPD_

February 24, 2019 at 11:14PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Trace_Urdan

Oy. Phone auto-corrected “gruyere” to “fritter.” Obviously I am fancier than my phone.

— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) February 24, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Trace_Urdan

February 24, 2019 at 05:35PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from naval

You don’t get rich by spending your time to save money.

You get rich by saving your time to make money.

— Naval (@naval) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/naval

February 23, 2019 at 06:59PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from jdickerson

My dear Wormwood,

I see you've gotten the patient to join Twitter.

My work is done here.

Your affectionate uncle,
SCREWTAPE

— John Dickerson (@jdickerson) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/jdickerson

February 23, 2019 at 10:04AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from kenlevit

On our way to a million: immigration. Stand on one corner in Tulsa and you can see a piece of Tulsa's immigration story | Dining | https://t.co/1h4QsIZLno important story ⁦@aWorldofKC⁩ https://t.co/eNFFYFrRT1

— Ken Levit (@kenlevit) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/kenlevit

February 23, 2019 at 06:33PM
via IFTTT

RT @roknese: Did you hear about the pun that entered a room and killed 10 people? Pun in, 10 dead

Did you hear about the pun that entered a room and killed 10 people?

Pun in, 10 dead

— Roknese (@roknese) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from marcoarment

I’ll jump in when it’s so old, boring, and slow-moving that nobody bothers to tell people to move to Swift because they’re all busy geeking out and fussing over a newer language.

— Marco Arment (@marcoarment) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/marcoarment

February 23, 2019 at 03:31PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from blkgrlpoet

I GOT INTO A PHD PROGRAM!!! I AM SO EMOTIONAL. I WILL BE THE FIRST IN MY FAMILY TO EARN A DOCTORATE! Single mom, incarcerated dad, formerly homeless, but NEVER STOPPED STRIVING! THANK YOU GOD!!! 🙏🏾

— Angel C. Dye (@blkgrlpoet) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/blkgrlpoet

February 22, 2019 at 07:26PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from espn

On This Date: 34 years ago today, Bobby Knight took his anger out on a chair 😡 pic.twitter.com/LqknVUWT2W

— ESPN (@espn) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/espn

February 23, 2019 at 10:32AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from joshscampbell

Mueller Scrambling After Accidentally Spilling Whole Big Gulp All Over Russia Evidencehttps://t.co/ZdKHNLqjX8

— Josh Campbell (@joshscampbell) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/joshscampbell

February 22, 2019 at 11:43PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from hollandhall

Holland Hall Book Fair TODAY, 2/23, from 8am-3pm. Bag sale from 2-3pm! #godutch #bookfair #booksale #tulsa

— Holland Hall School (@hollandhall) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/hollandhall

February 23, 2019 at 10:41AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from HHallAlumni

The calm before the 59th Holland Hall Book Fair!! Come and join us today from 8-3pm! $1 admission! pic.twitter.com/0tMp3PUEVr

— Holland Hall Alumni (@HHallAlumni) February 23, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/HHallAlumni

February 23, 2019 at 08:50AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Trace_Urdan

You have an age and reach advantage over Bacon, but I would bet he’s scrappy as hell.

— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) February 22, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Trace_Urdan

February 22, 2019 at 05:08PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from andyschult

Not that you’re gonna listen to me, but history is gonna be so so harsh on you for hyping nothing hit pieces like this. Not now. Not this cycle.

— Andrew Schultheiss (@andyschult) February 22, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/andyschult

February 22, 2019 at 03:34PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from andyschult

I dunno if these stories are being leaked by opposing Dem campaigns, but each time one comes out it makes me like her as the one to wipe the floor with Trump even more. She's a tough one. Good. No not good. Great.

— Andrew Schultheiss (@andyschult) February 22, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/andyschult

February 22, 2019 at 02:46PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Trace_Urdan

So what the hell are we supposed to use for Moussaka then?!?

— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) February 22, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Trace_Urdan

February 22, 2019 at 12:07PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Tracelator

I was the only kid in my second grade class in Oakland, CA to raise my hand in the mock election for Richard Nixon. (But TBF it was really a vote *against* McGovern.) https://t.co/IbCdlxpSqx

— Tracelator (@Tracelator) February 22, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Tracelator

February 22, 2019 at 11:51AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from caroljsroth

Reminder: the people who like socialism are the same people who liked group projects in school. #FridayFeelings

— Carol Roth (@caroljsroth) February 22, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/caroljsroth

February 22, 2019 at 10:25AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from DPD_

me last month: "Sure, what FuckJerry does is pretty bad, but, like, why is this anyone's MAIN cause? Some people have war in their countries..."
me for the past fifteen minutes: "Digital copyright is the single most important issue facing humanity..." pic.twitter.com/K9EMDblpIP

— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) February 22, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DPD_

February 22, 2019 at 11:23AM
via IFTTT

“[T]hat things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.” George Elliot, Middlemarch

“[T]hat things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.” George Elliot, Middlemarch

— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) February 22, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

RT @JackKosakowski: Crazy. Top 15 Global Brands Over The Last 19 Years! via @Interbrand https://t.co/T9piVM6R88

Crazy. Top 15 Global Brands Over The Last 19 Years! via @Interbrand pic.twitter.com/T9piVM6R88

— Jack Kosakowski (@JackKosakowski) February 21, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from KevinMKruse

If you want a snapshot of where I am in life right now, I just rapped along to all three verses of Kool Moe Dee’s “I Go To Work” while driving my minivan to the accountant’s office to drop off my taxes.

— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) February 21, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/KevinMKruse

February 21, 2019 at 12:00PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from DPD_

"Her Smell" (2019) https://t.co/Md6zv9zipa

— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) February 21, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DPD_

February 21, 2019 at 11:04AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from DennyTrumpet

I love @RecDiffs because you find out the mind that thinks through technology issues so completely and the voice that articulates those thoughts so well on @atpfm is also a human guy who walks into walls when it’s dark

— 𝙳𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚜 (@DennyTrumpet) February 21, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DennyTrumpet

February 21, 2019 at 10:43AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from adamsigoodman

If you are struggling with writer's block or just need a boost of confidence, heed the wise words of the great Mookie Wilson. And bust out. pic.twitter.com/Nb3HTBjini

— Adam Goodman (@adamsigoodman) February 19, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/adamsigoodman

February 19, 2019 at 05:19PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from KevinLevin

Let's not lose sight of the fact that historians engage the public every day in the classroom. It's some of the most meaningful work that one can do.

— Kevin M. Levin (@KevinLevin) February 20, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/KevinLevin

February 20, 2019 at 04:38PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from westygametweets

**Game Day**!! We hit the road to @GunnHockey1850 for a 4pm tilt. Drive safely. See you there.@NZPrepHockey @NEHockeyJournal @NEPSAC @cthockeyhsprep pic.twitter.com/GTnOL1APc3

— Westminster Hockey (@westygametweets) February 20, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/westygametweets

February 20, 2019 at 11:33AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from jsnell

While unpacking groceries I composed an epic 10-minute-long Jam Band version of the "Robot or Not" theme.

— Jason Snell (@jsnell) February 20, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/jsnell

February 20, 2019 at 03:56PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from NewDadNotes

They damn well better.

— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) February 20, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/NewDadNotes

February 19, 2019 at 10:30PM
via IFTTT

RT @CT_Bergstrom: My PhD advisor told me to put a ten dollar bill between the pages of my thesis in the university library. "So I can check to see if anyone read it?", I asked. "No, of course no one will read it," he replied, "but when you come back into town you'll always have money for lunch." https://t.co/4b7nj1Q27z

My PhD advisor told me to put a ten dollar bill between the pages of my thesis in the university library.

"So I can check to see if anyone read it?", I asked.

"No, of course no one will read it," he replied, "but when you come back into town you'll always have money for lunch." https://t.co/4b7nj1Q27z

— Carl T. Bergstrom (@CT_Bergstrom) February 19, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from rmayemsinger

Because a lot of things suck right now, please enjoy these lions' amazing reaction seeing woman who hand-reared them... for the first time in seven years.
pic.twitter.com/yGMuId1JK2

— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) February 20, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/rmayemsinger

February 19, 2019 at 11:47PM
via IFTTT

RT @TerribleMaps: A flag map of Europe but each flag is determined on which country they share the longest border with https://t.co/t7m0erbyKh

A flag map of Europe but each flag is determined on which country they share the longest border with pic.twitter.com/t7m0erbyKh

— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) February 19, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from JulianFlei

Gig life. #giglife. pic.twitter.com/qIBu4E5HJ1

— Julian Fleisher (@JulianFlei) February 20, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/JulianFlei

February 19, 2019 at 08:29PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from DPD_

if you guys are mad about John Wayne wait until you hear what this other actor from his era did. [stares significantly] his name was Ronald Reagan

— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) February 19, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DPD_

February 19, 2019 at 05:08PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from MotherOfDoggons

HGTV family-

Wife: I’m a stay at home mom

Dad: I walk dogs for a living

“Our budget for a new home is $950,000”

— M DOOM (@MotherOfDoggons) February 19, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/MotherOfDoggons

February 18, 2019 at 10:14PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from daringfireball

The Official Fast Food French Fry Power Rankings: https://t.co/81oGfzcpwo

— Daring Fireball (@daringfireball) February 18, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/daringfireball

February 18, 2019 at 02:50PM
via IFTTT

The official fast food French fry power rankings https://t.co/JDqqj68ryh

The official fast food French fry power rankings https://t.co/JDqqj68ryh

— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) February 19, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from YAN0

Today I had three meals with friends, a very Good Coffee, hung out in fake New York on the Paramount backlot saw Kanye, Gwyneth, some amazing art, and a double rainbow.

Now I’m tweeting like it’s 2008; so happy Presidents’ Day.

— David Yanofsky (@YAN0) February 18, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/YAN0

February 17, 2019 at 11:54PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from lezjc

The Olsen twins look like one of them knows how you die and the other knows when you die. pic.twitter.com/1yKtpyruyD

— Miles JC (@lezjc) February 17, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/lezjc

February 17, 2019 at 08:32AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from _SJPeace_

This little boy in the wheelchair is Wyatt.

He wanted to jump on a trampoline and TNT in North Dakota didn't say he can't or couldn't. They made it possible and made it happen.

He loved it and I LOVE THIS 😭

Retweet ❤️ pic.twitter.com/nNtTAg9okW

— StanceGrounded (@_SJPeace_) February 17, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/_SJPeace_

February 16, 2019 at 11:38PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from JohnFPfaff

Oh.
My.
God.

An Apple IIe. Sat in my parents’ attic for years. Decades.

And it works.

Put in an old game disk. Asks if I want to restore a saved game.

And finds one!

It must be 30 years old.

I’m 10 years old again. pic.twitter.com/zL7wWxOo36

— John Pfaff (@JohnFPfaff) February 17, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/JohnFPfaff

February 16, 2019 at 10:24PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from rcbl

No! Follow him! Follow him about 3 feet away! And pitch shows! Pitch and pitch and pitch, while he’s choosing hand towels, while he’s putting in his PIN on that swipy thingy, while he’s deciding if he wants fries with that. Follow close and pitch relentlessly.

— Rob Long (@rcbl) February 18, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/rcbl

February 17, 2019 at 11:51PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Nancy_Pearl

So true. Paul Auster says something similar in one of his essays. https://t.co/mwcUgdizSg

— Nancy Pearl (@Nancy_Pearl) February 17, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Nancy_Pearl

February 16, 2019 at 10:56PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from TheOnion

"Please trust that this was a very tough decision." https://t.co/pS1OJRzQoN pic.twitter.com/kJZGYyhhvQ

— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 17, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/TheOnion

February 16, 2019 at 10:21PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from renato_mariotti

If you want an explanation of the laws at issue and how a legal challenge to Trump’s emergency declaration will play out, listen to the latest episode of my #OnTopic podcast, out today.

It is available on all major podcast apps. iPhone link below: https://t.co/UYOvlM6hms

— Renato Mariotti (@renato_mariotti) February 17, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/renato_mariotti

February 16, 2019 at 07:32PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Hill3Williston

Girls hockey leads Loomis School 3-1 start of third #speedycats #PPI #teamwork pic.twitter.com/6qF4auQtrl

— RWHill (@Hill3Williston) February 16, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Hill3Williston

February 16, 2019 at 05:21PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from AshleyFetters

A writing strategy I cannot recommend highly enough is having one font to use for assembling words and sentences into a draft and another font for polishing it up to file

— Ashley Fetters (@AshleyFetters) February 15, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/AshleyFetters

February 15, 2019 at 04:09PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Austen

Showing Lambda School students how powerful twitter can be... if you see this tweet please like it

— Austen Allred (@Austen) February 16, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Austen

February 15, 2019 at 07:22PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from melvillmatic

now see, why you gotta be like that. BABE was just chilling, hurting no one, minding its damn business pic.twitter.com/r9GyXGd8HK

— k austin collins (@melvillmatic) February 15, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/melvillmatic

February 15, 2019 at 05:26PM
via IFTTT

"The central conservative truth is that it is culture, not politics, that determines the success of a society. The central liberal truth is that politics can change a culture and save it from itself." Daniel Patrick Moynihan

"The central conservative truth is that it is culture, not politics, that determines the success of a society. The central liberal truth is that politics can change a culture and save it from itself." Daniel Patrick Moynihan

— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) February 16, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from Iron_Spike

Tetris 99 has taught me there is an entire roiling underbelly of god-tier Tetris degenerates out there that have been unknowingly training for this week their entire lives.

Having a good time watching Twitch streamers get destroyed by accounts named "Eileen" and "LuvMyKids72."

— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) February 16, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Iron_Spike

February 15, 2019 at 09:46PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from HMittelmark

Listening to Styx always makes me miss my wild years, when I'd do fucking anything, even listen to Styx.

— Howard Mittelmark (@HMittelmark) February 15, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/HMittelmark

February 15, 2019 at 09:00AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Martin_Dempsey

“The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do” (Galileo). The best leaders attend to matters big and small. Often it’s the small matters that make the biggest impression.

— GEN(R) Marty Dempsey (@Martin_Dempsey) February 15, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Martin_Dempsey

February 15, 2019 at 08:20AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from thedavidcrosby

Of course I would https://t.co/k47sxauCxn

— David Crosby (@thedavidcrosby) February 15, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/thedavidcrosby

February 14, 2019 at 09:09PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from PonchoRebound

Tumblr user stickmanbrandon elaborates on just why this is so touching: pic.twitter.com/II25JLKZ97

— Eize Basa (@PonchoRebound) February 14, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/PonchoRebound

February 14, 2019 at 06:17PM
via IFTTT

RT @PonchoRebound: You've probably heard about how Opportunity's last words to NASA were “my battery is low and it's getting dark.” What you may not have heard is NASA's last words TO Opportunity: as a final transmission to the rover, they played Billie Holiday's "I'll Be Seeing You." https://t.co/iR7xzYQAri

You've probably heard about how Opportunity's last words to NASA were “my battery is low and it's getting dark.”

What you may not have heard is NASA's last words TO Opportunity: as a final transmission to the rover, they played Billie Holiday's "I'll Be Seeing You." pic.twitter.com/iR7xzYQAri

— Eize Basa (@PonchoRebound) February 14, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from RGroup175

Congratulations Suzanne Walker Buck, new Head of School at @WRApioneers @TomOlverson @johnfarber9 @indyschools #indyschools #education @educationweek @hgse @nais @NAISnetwork #leadership #Lead

— ResourceGroup175 (@RGroup175) February 15, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/RGroup175

February 15, 2019 at 02:44PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from benjaminwittes

I cannot confirm or deny that I had this custom made. #BabyCannonSociety pic.twitter.com/1mIOexORO2

— Benjamin Wittes (@benjaminwittes) February 15, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/benjaminwittes

February 15, 2019 at 02:31PM
via IFTTT

RT @cegriff3: @SteeleThoughts From Tolstoy: https://t.co/hmiRmnakPu

From Tolstoy: pic.twitter.com/hmiRmnakPu

— Charlie Griffith (@cegriff3) February 15, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

RT @MonicaHesse: I swear, the universe can be divided into two kinds of people: 1) I had to go through it, so you should too. 2) I had to go through it, so I'll work to make sure you don't.

I swear, the universe can be divided into two kinds of people:
1) I had to go through it, so you should too.
2) I had to go through it, so I'll work to make sure you don't.

— Monica Hesse (@MonicaHesse) February 13, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from Trace_Urdan

My son plays basketball. And I watch. pic.twitter.com/4Ky5X3zNtO

— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) February 14, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Trace_Urdan

February 14, 2019 at 04:21PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from KarlVanHoet

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Plant colors perpetuate puerile and potentially damaging analogies for the complexity of human experience.

So.

— Karl Van Hœt (@KarlVanHoet) February 14, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/KarlVanHoet

February 13, 2019 at 11:46PM
via IFTTT

RT @JRMcGrail: And the Day Time Emmy For Best Local Feature News Story Intros Goes to... https://t.co/BRpVCo4Dma

And the Day Time Emmy For Best Local Feature News Story Intros Goes to... https://t.co/BRpVCo4Dma

— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) February 13, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Tarot deck review

https://artplusmarketing.com/a-review-of-the-rider-waite-tarot-the-major-arcana-b5ef5f201b6d

RT @KLambPhD: @mrtimlong As an 8 year old Girl Scout - Me: Would you like to buy some cookies? Neighbor: I’m on a diet for my New Year’s Resolution. Me: The cookies will be delivered in February. Do you think you’ll still be on your diet in February? Neighbor: :::silently takes form and pen:::

As an 8 year old Girl Scout -
Me: Would you like to buy some cookies?
Neighbor: I’m on a diet for my New Year’s Resolution.
Me: The cookies will be delivered in February. Do you think you’ll still be on your diet in February?
Neighbor: :::silently takes form and pen:::

— Kristy Lamb (@KLambPhD) February 13, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

RT @mrtimlong: CONVERSATION I JUST HAD: ME: Two Thin Mints please GIRL SCOUT: That’ll be $10. Or you can get four boxes for $20! ME (gentle): Um, that’s not a savings GIRL SCOUT (NOT gentle): NO ONE SAID IT WAS ... ME: Four boxes would be great.

CONVERSATION I JUST HAD:

ME: Two Thin Mints please

GIRL SCOUT: That’ll be $10. Or you can get four boxes for $20!

ME (gentle): Um, that’s not a savings

GIRL SCOUT (NOT gentle): NO ONE SAID IT WAS

...

ME: Four boxes would be great.

— Tim Long (@mrtimlong) February 12, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from marycjackson

I started writing what I WANTED to write at 54.
Began with picture books. They sucked hard core.
Found my YA voice at 56.
Got an agent when I was 59. (It was HARD.) My debut comes out in 2020. I'll be 62. There is NO age limit to your dreams. Write on, lovely writers. Write on.

— Mary Cecilia Jackson (@marycjackson) February 12, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/marycjackson

February 11, 2019 at 11:52PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from DebbiMichiko

Dear @amazon please don't categorize chapter books as for boys or for girls. Books are for ALL regardless of gender/race/religion. Thank you.

— Debbi Michiko Florence (@DebbiMichiko) February 12, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DebbiMichiko

February 12, 2019 at 10:33AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from KamalaHarris

No mother or father should ever have to sit down with their son and tell him that he may be stopped, arrested, or killed because of the color of his skin. This shouldn’t have to be a reality for parents in America.

— Kamala Harris (@KamalaHarris) February 13, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/KamalaHarris

February 12, 2019 at 08:07PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from pptsapper

I'm sure this will get me tagged again as being snarky and not seeing the big picture and not being a team player. Whatever. At the end of the day, I have to be able to sleep at night knowing I've done my damnedest to get my company ready for war. So sometimes I get salty.

— Angry Staff Officer (@pptsapper) February 13, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/pptsapper

February 12, 2019 at 08:03PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from NASAInSight

The gang’s all here: my seismometer, its cover, and now the heat flow probe! It’s no easy task to set up such sensitive instruments on the surface of another world. Together we’ll unlock some of #Mars’ deep secrets. pic.twitter.com/77nGAaBi6L

— NASA InSight (@NASAInSight) February 13, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/NASAInSight

February 12, 2019 at 07:55PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from andyschult

Should Russia be getting jealous?

— Andrew Schultheiss (@andyschult) February 12, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/andyschult

February 12, 2019 at 02:05PM
via IFTTT

NBOA Turnkey dashboard of relevant school information

https://www.netassets.org/blogs/net-assets/2019/02/04/business-intelligence-a-dashboard-for-staff-expens

Favorite tweet from packetswitchr

pic.twitter.com/KsRljeIwjm

— packetswitchr (@packetswitchr) February 10, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/packetswitchr

February 10, 2019 at 05:20PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from HHallAlumni

And the Oscar goes to...
Dan Wilk '88, Principal Scientist at Adobe, and his team were awarded the Academy's 2019 Scientific and Engineering Award for their work on Adobe After Effects!https://t.co/QDu1F2xsrM

— Holland Hall Alumni (@HHallAlumni) February 11, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/HHallAlumni

February 11, 2019 at 03:13PM
via IFTTT

Ivy Lee method for productivity

https://www.businessinsider.com/ivy-lee-method-productivity-2018-9

Favorite tweet from Trace_Urdan

Four-year GPAs matter to colleges. As long as that fact is true, telling them not to obsess about grades to assuage your own conscience is simply more adult hypocrisy.

— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) February 10, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Trace_Urdan

February 09, 2019 at 08:28PM
via IFTTT

RT @mrsmariaball: 💯% accurate for #SeattleSnowpocalypse #snowmaggedon https://t.co/TEOIAiwtwZ

💯% accurate for #SeattleSnowpocalypse #snowmaggedon pic.twitter.com/TEOIAiwtwZ

— Maria Ball (@mrsmariaball) February 8, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from IndwellingLang

I learned this from @BobPatrick as a novice teacher and have found it worthwhile ever since! https://t.co/cQafLf8Vi6

— Justin Slocum Bailey (@IndwellingLang) February 9, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/IndwellingLang

February 09, 2019 at 08:01AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from davewiner

My blog, https://t.co/gPQ9VPYOLB, has been continuously updated since October 1994.

— scripting.com (@davewiner) February 9, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/davewiner

February 09, 2019 at 10:27AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from JRMcGrail

Kumbaya my Brand. Kumbaya. https://t.co/Gbbv6dF5sG

— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) February 9, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/JRMcGrail

February 09, 2019 at 10:04AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from amandbrar

“No matter the path, the path is hard!” https://t.co/qhNnYcpsn1

— Aman Brar (@amandbrar) February 9, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/amandbrar

February 09, 2019 at 11:04AM
via IFTTT

Tuckman's stages of group development - Wikipedia https://t.co/YupuOBXYgP

Tuckman's stages of group development - Wikipedia https://t.co/YupuOBXYgP

— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) February 9, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from KrangTNelson

one of the best things abt the brosnan era of bond films is that anything could explode at any time for literally no reason. a building with no flammable contents? a pine tree? a large sandwich? air itself? all of these things and more can explode in a pre-9/11 world

— KT Nelson (@KrangTNelson) February 9, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/KrangTNelson

February 08, 2019 at 07:04PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from matthewfederman

1) Never start a war with a man who buys ink by the barrel

2) Never start a war with a man that delivers all those barrels with free two day shipping

— Matthew Federman (@matthewfederman) February 8, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/matthewfederman

February 07, 2019 at 07:10PM
via IFTTT

RT @matthewfederman: 1) Never start a war with a man who buys ink by the barrel 2) Never start a war with a man that delivers all those barrels with free two day shipping

1) Never start a war with a man who buys ink by the barrel

2) Never start a war with a man that delivers all those barrels with free two day shipping

— Matthew Federman (@matthewfederman) February 8, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from ShaneGoldmacher

Pretty remarkable pic.twitter.com/ejS4eGociz

— Shane Goldmacher (@ShaneGoldmacher) February 7, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/ShaneGoldmacher

February 07, 2019 at 05:33PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from staceyabrams

I’ve liked all of the newest regenerations since its return (some more than others), but Tom Baker remains the one Doctor to rule them all. https://t.co/S9BJlf3BF9

— Stacey Abrams (@staceyabrams) February 8, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/staceyabrams

February 07, 2019 at 07:48PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from xkcdComic

Invisible Formatting https://t.co/ujOeiC11tB https://t.co/Mvah0RxyWl pic.twitter.com/649gtzHP2l

— XKCD Comic (@xkcdComic) February 8, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/xkcdComic

February 08, 2019 at 09:34AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from cegriff3

This the equivalent of the 101st Airborne’s Gen’l McAuliffe’s reply to the Wehrmacht when they demanded the surrender of Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge: “Nuts!”
Bravo, @JeffBezos, bravo. https://t.co/1dGowM4Dfg

— Charlie Griffith (@cegriff3) February 8, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/cegriff3

February 07, 2019 at 07:38PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from BeanGilsdorf

Boomers: I care thiiiiis much
Millennials: small penis
Gen-X: [Kids in the Hall voice]: “l am crushing your head” pic.twitter.com/jRtO5BVAKQ

— Bean Gilsdorf (@BeanGilsdorf) February 6, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/BeanGilsdorf

February 06, 2019 at 02:06PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Tinkdamuse

50s: I am So damn glad that there are brilliant 30 year olds to fix this mess we have made.

— Mary Smirl (@Tinkdamuse) February 6, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Tinkdamuse

February 06, 2019 at 01:10PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from benjaminwittes

A 93-year-old WWII vet, rushed to an emergency room recently and informed he had hours to live offered the following before drifting into his terminal unconsciousness: "Shit. I'm not gonna see the Mueller report, am I?" True story.

— Benjamin Wittes (@benjaminwittes) February 7, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/benjaminwittes

February 07, 2019 at 02:33PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from davewiner

If it doesn't have a feed it isn't a podcast.

— scripting.com (@davewiner) February 7, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/davewiner

February 07, 2019 at 12:29PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from JRMcGrail

I don't need a strictly chronological Twitter timeline, but can I get algorithm controlled content but with nothing older than say 6-12 hours?

— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) February 7, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/JRMcGrail

February 07, 2019 at 10:34AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from griffithd50

Today we crossed the border into Argentinan Patagonia and drove for 10 hours in the Stepps. We had the same mountains in view almost the entire day. Tomorrow we spend the day on the water in the Patoginan Ice Fields... https://t.co/zp8hqwpwCv

— David Griffith (@griffithd50) February 7, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/griffithd50

February 06, 2019 at 07:45PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from hotdogsladies

God bless the eight people who downloaded tonight's @RecDiffs early.

I see you, and I love you.

— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) February 7, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/hotdogsladies

February 06, 2019 at 08:28PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from KamalaHarris

The strength of our union has never been found in the walls we build. It’s in our diversity and our unity — and that is our power.

— Kamala Harris (@KamalaHarris) February 7, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/KamalaHarris

February 06, 2019 at 08:09PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from ReformedBroker

I press my thumb down on an app to delete it, causing all the other apps tremble with fear, and in this moment I am as great and terrible as a vengeful god of the ancient world, my cruelty both capricious and final.

— Downtown Josh Brown (@ReformedBroker) February 5, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/ReformedBroker

February 05, 2019 at 08:47AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from TheOnion

Chipotle Employee Just Gave Guy In Front Of You More Rice https://t.co/oGuc6j6lLc pic.twitter.com/tAN6zdgwO7

— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 5, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/TheOnion

February 05, 2019 at 06:57PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from jsnell

If you have ever wondered what @RecDiffs would sound like if it was me instead of @hotdogsladies and only six minutes long and also about a weird robot, wonder no more https://t.co/lcf4IBo1NU

— Jason Snell (@jsnell) February 6, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/jsnell

February 05, 2019 at 07:31PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from ZerlinaMaxwell

Bernie isn’t Jesus.

We are allowed to criticize him and I don’t deserve to be called a c**t for it.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

— Zerlina Maxwell (@ZerlinaMaxwell) February 5, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/ZerlinaMaxwell

February 05, 2019 at 12:28PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Boston1775

I really wish this author had told us what he thought of the Rev. Dr. Ezra Stiles’s historical writing. pic.twitter.com/efA6mc3QO9

— J. L. Bell (@Boston1775) February 6, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Boston1775

February 05, 2019 at 08:18PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from siracusa

Is he on the stack?
Is he on the heap?
Local man

— John Siracusa (@siracusa) February 5, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/siracusa

February 05, 2019 at 09:46AM
via IFTTT

RT @arampell: This is the most brilliant iPhone app grouping I’ve ever seen... https://t.co/3zyKpFkJr3

This is the most brilliant iPhone app grouping I’ve ever seen... pic.twitter.com/3zyKpFkJr3

— Alex Rampell (@arampell) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from cegriff3

Any man who chooses his spouse over his child fails to appreciate that his spouse will kill him for making that choice.

— Charlie Griffith (@cegriff3) February 5, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/cegriff3

February 04, 2019 at 09:40PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from impcapital

I would like to start an incubator for Y Combinator founders that failed at their first company to do a new company. In my experience, these are the world’s greatest people to work with: all of the smarts and work-ethic, but none of the arrogance.

— Sarah Cone (@impcapital) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/impcapital

February 03, 2019 at 09:13PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from MartinM_Media

This piece of art from Thomas Deininger is one of the most incredible things I’ve seen. pic.twitter.com/fJmKg9wpD2

— Martin Montague (@MartinM_Media) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/MartinM_Media

February 04, 2019 at 03:08AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from JRMcGrail

Surge pricing for Girl Scout Cookies!

— J.R. McGrail 📎 (@JRMcGrail) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/JRMcGrail

February 04, 2019 at 02:42PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Trace_Urdan

Robot children are much better for the environment. And far more cost effective and much less stressful than human children.

— Trace Urdan (@Trace_Urdan) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Trace_Urdan

February 04, 2019 at 10:04AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from tmcdUSA

The @bublywater commercial demonstrated focus and simplicity in #advertising. Awareness. Name recognition. Recall. Pass the Bublé!

— todd mcdonald (@tmcdUSA) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/tmcdUSA

February 04, 2019 at 09:51AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from JohnnyMacSparty

You must be a generation X guy.

— Johnny Mac (@JohnnyMacSparty) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/JohnnyMacSparty

February 04, 2019 at 06:33AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from cmclymer

Oh. My. God. https://t.co/KBWNOqRKGx

— Charlotte Clymer🏳️‍🌈 (@cmclymer) February 3, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/cmclymer

February 03, 2019 at 03:58PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Una

This weekend I:

✅ Recorded a song about array methods
✅ Realized I have no life pic.twitter.com/O4Tg2zhulq

— 🇺|🇳|🇦 👩🏻‍💻 (@Una) February 3, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Una

February 03, 2019 at 01:06PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from smurtagh

Ellie. What a fucking rollercoaster is the first 5 minutes of Up.

— Santi Murtagh (@smurtagh) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/smurtagh

February 04, 2019 at 12:31AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from AdventurePants5

Algernon.

— Wendy Boucher (@AdventurePants5) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/AdventurePants5

February 03, 2019 at 11:46PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from wvrginyn

LTC Henry Blake. M*A*S*H.

— JRS (@wvrginyn) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/wvrginyn

February 03, 2019 at 07:42PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from SpaceSGM

Charlotte the spider. 😢😭

— SpaceForceSGM (@SpaceSGM) February 3, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/SpaceSGM

February 03, 2019 at 03:40PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from Chapl37

Mr. Parker in Infinity War...still hurts.

Tonks in HP...she was so awesome.

— Chaplain (@Chapl37) February 3, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/Chapl37

February 03, 2019 at 03:23PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from lynnesilver

Dobby

— Lynne Silver (@lynnesilver) February 3, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/lynnesilver

February 03, 2019 at 03:17PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from meganhallinan

Artax going down in the Swamp of Sadness. Decades later, it sticks with you.

— meganhallinan (@meganhallinan) February 3, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/meganhallinan

February 03, 2019 at 01:06PM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from jonathanchait

I understand why people aren't entertained, but this isn't bad football. It's outstanding pass rush and coverage.

— Jonathan Chait (@jonathanchait) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/jonathanchait

February 03, 2019 at 09:40PM
via IFTTT

RT @KellyCanuckTO: Canadian Road Rage Montreal 🇨🇦 📹 lex_inker https://t.co/JG9XilZrCF

Canadian Road Rage
Montreal 🇨🇦
📹 lex_inker pic.twitter.com/JG9XilZrCF

— Kelly Canuck🍁 (@KellyCanuckTO) February 3, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from _Drew_McCoy_

I've always loved this video.

Bowie is like, "hey, let's do a run through, warm up a bit. Just a little stretching to get ready for the real show."

Annie's like, "You do you Dave but I'm taking this shit to ELEVENTY!" https://t.co/AVYQb1TjHR

— Drew McCoy (@_Drew_McCoy_) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/_Drew_McCoy_

February 04, 2019 at 08:42AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from justin_halpern

Jesus if I wanted to be incredibly fucking bored for several hours by eleven dudes from Massachusetts I’d just sit in almost any comedy writers room

— Justin Halpern (@justin_halpern) February 4, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/justin_halpern

February 03, 2019 at 09:43PM
via IFTTT

“How rich we all are in knowledge, and in all that lies around us yet to learn. Billionaires, all of us.” — Ursula K. Le Guin

“How rich we all are in knowledge, and in all that lies around us yet to learn. Billionaires, all of us.” — Ursula K. Le Guin

— Douglas Allen (@DouglasHAllen) February 3, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen

Favorite tweet from rpondiscio

When we say, “Students need X” we often mean, “I like to teach X.”

— Robert Pondiscio (@rpondiscio) February 2, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/rpondiscio

February 02, 2019 at 09:44AM
via IFTTT

Favorite tweet from chrisculling

You got this! pic.twitter.com/xrQgM30qP1

— Chris Culling (@chrisculling) February 1, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/chrisculling

February 01, 2019 at 09:50AM
via IFTTT

RT @TheOnion: Man Under Mistaken Impression He His Own Harshest Critic https://t.co/dPvZuSL9dK https://t.co/Nnos2vzeDQ

Man Under Mistaken Impression He His Own Harshest Critic https://t.co/dPvZuSL9dK pic.twitter.com/Nnos2vzeDQ

— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 1, 2019

from Twitter https://twitter.com/DouglasHAllen